For the love of dreams; 11 26 19
My wife and I are in the process of recovering from Co-19. About 14 days in, so far so good. The universe conspires to help us, as always.
She has COPD and my usually controlled blood pressure went berserk. A bit scary for both of us. We think we are out of the woods, just dragging along some covid luggage still.
This would be a scary dream at any time, but it seemed like a bit much, especially under the circumstances. I dreamt it about seven days ago.
I have a sense of direction when I dream, I use them to help give context to my dreams. For me north is spiritual, south is my physical world, west is past, east in future.
I dreamt that I was in a house known to me, but not my own, that was filled with chaos. I was looking for my handgun, (I don’t own one) and was gathering up some of my belongings. Just as I was about to exit the house, so I could put my belongings into the trunk of my car, I dropped the gun and it disappeared into a pile of debris.
When I turned to my right, I saw my dad, who has passed, laying in a top bunk of a bunk bed. He was awake and spoke to me, but I don’t know what he said. I looked north into room past the bed as dad and the bunk bed disappeared and saw the gun, holstered in a black shoulder harness all wrapped up. I grabbed the gun and headed to my car, moving south. When I got to the car, I could hear this haunting moaning coming from the house I had just exited. I was instantly angry and started yelling, “I can hear you; I can hear you;” and quickly reentered the house. I tuned west and descending a short stairway. It opened into hell.
I saw a four-foot tall, for lack of a better word, demon facing me about 20 ft to the west. It was wailing out this mixture of a roar, moan and a scream, at me. I pointed my finger in a confrontational manner and kept yelling, “I can hear you.” At this point I was still more angry than scared. The imp had a face like Jack-o-lantern, triangular eyes and nose with fire flaming out of them. Its mouth was formed by what looked like the top edge of the door of a potbellied stove. Its stomach was formed by the rest of the door with two sets of open slots of three. Fire roared out of these too. Short little legs and arms.
To its left (north) was a large blast furnace with an open arched door. It had a similar figure in front of it and this demon started to pace back and forth in front of the furnace moving north and south while continuing to roar. The scene opened and I could see multiple furnaces stretching out in a helter-skelter fashion endlessly, each guarded with the same type of figure.
To my left, almost touching my shoulder, there was suddenly a door or the shadow of a door. It was transparent, behind it there was a tall shadow/silhouette of a tall human form, behind that was one of those imp creatures and I knew they were coming for me.
Discarding bravery, I started to struggle, trying to yell and backing up. Thankfully my wife shook me awake. Most likely an act of self-preservation, I often wake up swinging when exiting a scary dream.
Dreams are always a gift from higher aspects of yourself or teachers, a well preformed drama to lead you to an answer you have been pursuing. You can always meditate on a dream to retrieve the information.
The Imp symbols I know are from some cartoon I’ve watched with my grandchildren. That makes them a lot less frightening, and they moved in a way that background figures did in early video games.
The door is the doorway to death, the silhouette behind it, is death. The Imps behind that, the beliefs and fears associated with the religion I was raised in.
The gun was a self-defense weapon, short barreled, large caliber pistol like what would be carried by police or security personnel. My symbol of need of protection in spiritual matters. I was moving it to the trunk of my car, that’s where I keep the beliefs, I carry along with me.
My imagined spiritual journey has been an act of discarding and replacing beliefs for some time now. That is the great taboo in the religion I was raised with. The mantra of “never question dogma, lest you lose your soul.” Is a powerful retainer. That fear always looms in the shadows of my mind and I am always struggling with doubts and fear related to the origins of information I receive. This dream is an answer to those questions. It allows me to explore the fears associated with it.
I have a symbol that has appeared in many of my dreams. It resembles an upside-down lower-case y. It has become a portal of sorts. I have literally passed through it in two different dreams and often during meditation. When I sketched the hell scene in the notebook, I record dreams in, I inadvertently drew that symbol in the sketch.
When I meditated on the dream, I passed through the shadow door and into the silhouette figure. It represents death, neither good nor evil, merely a door. As I passed by the little Imp dudes, I sent them love, seeing them not as living energy but just fictitious mental fears. When I got to the y that I had added to the landscape, I passed through it.
It opened, as it had the many other times, I’ve passed through it.
I am standing on the edge of the Beyond the Beyond, nothing but black, perfectly balanced unmanifested energy. Unconditional love, the Great Void.
It reassured me that many of my fears are unfounded. I share this dream to encourage others to explore your dreams. If you calm yourself with meditation, you can walk back through a frightening dream with the clamor of emotions minimized and extract what the Creator of All, Source, Consciousness, whatever, is wanting to teach you.
Another plus was getting to see my dad. He was there to show me that the response to confront a fear was a gift he passed on to me by his stubbornness and courage. It was really good to see him. Have great Thanksgiving and keep dreaming.