Dream Experience part 3

Teddy Bear dream

Teddy Bear Dream

This dream is part 3 of a healing process. Dreams are gifts that can give us assurances as to where we are at in our recovery;

Paer 1 https://storysspiritual.com/2022/09/23/light-ropes-and-torsion-field-dreams-part-1/

Part 2 https://storysspiritual.com/2022/09/23/dream-experience-part-2/


I am in a store and it is dark. I look to the west (past) out through my front door glass and I see a lady walking north on a sidewalk across the street. She is wearing a blue poka dot dress. (That was the choice of attire that my grandmother was buried in, it was her favorite dress)

She is returning home from work and as she passes the houses she checks to see if their doors are properly locked.

I wonder, “Why don’t she check to see if my door is locked and I feel disappointed that she hasn’t.


Driving north (spiritual) in a car on my way to help somebody and there is a bear driving a car beside me.

Someway or another, suddenly we are both out of our cars. I don’t know if I grabed him or if he grabbed me, but we are wrestling. (I realized when I followed the dream that the bear had yellow circles for hands like a Teddy Bear.)

The scuffle forces me to change direction. Driving back south the way I came, the bear is hanging onto my car. I slam on my brakes and the bear flies past me and face plants on the pavement. I turn towards the east (future) going between two houses.

There is barely enough room for the car so it is more like driving through yards. I crash into something and instantly a little girl is sitting in front of me where the windshield should be.

She lifts up her shirt exposing her stomach and it is covered with measles or chicken pox. I know that she is sick and possibility dying.

I look behind me in hopes of backing the car up and there is a lady with a broom and a dustpan just a little ways behind me. She is sweeping up the debris I created driving between the houses. She smiles at me as if she doesn’t mind doing the task……..

Following the dream;

I thought the lady checking locks was my mom, the dress being symbolic of a family member, but it could be my grandmother. She has finished her work and has walked home.

Being in a store represents earthly work, a house is my personal space. I am wanting to do spiritual work.

A family member is securing all the doors I have passed through to get to this present moment. She is locking them so I am less liberal to revisit them or so the past can’t seep back into my present. It is what family is willing to do for each other, part of a family pact.

The Teddy Bear…

I am driving north to help somebody, this too is symbolic of my present intent.

The bear is traveling by me, but not in the car with me, that is good, but we are struggling just the same.

My journey to help others is interrupted by this conflict. I am forced to return the way I came, but there isn’t a normal path to follow so I am forced to push my way between the houses and create my own. I am completely stopped by an obstacle.

The little girl has shown up in many of my dreams, sometimes with her mother. Most the time they are just bystanders.

This is the healing part and why I was wresting a life size teddy bear.

I said in part two that my mom’s and my sister’s accident impacted my life in a different way. I was, in one since not there at all because I was in her womb, but because I was, I marinated in all the emotional juices that is produced by a grieving mother, not only grieving, but someome filled with blame and self-contempt. Not a lot of happy juice were being produced.

I am reluctant to share most of this, but I feel it is a finish line of sorts and if I don’t I remain stuck in my crashed car. I think it reeks of victimism and selp-pity which is not a healthy or useful pastime.

I believe my main creative purpose in this life is to help people find self-worth and to learn ways to overcome the energy of depression.

Without this pre birth tragedy I wouldn’t have been forced to search for solutions .

The experiences of this journey that I have been gifted with were only made possible by this family event. So this tragedy, like all tragedy is a transition point where life changing choices are made.

My struggles with depression have become a gift. It was a road to spiritual transformation and realization. I owe much gratitude to my family members to let me be a part of this growth experience.

I can now look within myself and see the wonders of the essence of the Creator Of All, it is beyond belief.

I know that I am of value irregardless of actions, I and everyone else is priceless. (That includes everyone, even thise who seem difficult to like.)

I had the opportunity to sit in the heart of God, to feel the indescribable force of unconditional love. That one experience makes all human experiences worth the trip.

I see this whole event is part of a agreement between family members forged pryer to our latest arrival.

On this side of the Beyond the Beyond, we often live lives as victims or victimizers. It is just a part of the education of experienceing duality, it is the method by which we learn about energy.

Beyond the Beyond, duality no longer exists in this earthly form. There is no blame, no pain, no assumptions. All the unendurable pain we experience here is seen in a different light and we understand why and what we were meant to learn in an human experience.

What we see as victim experiences here are seen as learning choices there, so blame or fault never applies.

Everyone involved in this tragedy was a victim. Everyone involved learned what or some of what the they choose to learn as they acted out their part.

I clearly remember my parents arguing for blame. My dad said it was his fault because he knew the door hadn’t latched when he carried in my oldest sister into the house the night before. He had given the door a kick with his foot, but he knew it hadn’t latched.

Mom said she was to blame, she had always put the girls in the car from the passenger side, but she was in a hurry and had put them in from the driver’s side. Becky was always in the middle. She should have checked the door.

I don’t know how or why I can remember the conversation, it may have happened when I was older, it may have been a dream?

My grandmother, the lady in the blue polka-dot dress from the dream, had put up sort of a memorial for Becky at her house on a shelf above a desk. A picture and a red wooden chair holding a small teddy bear, most likely the one I struggled with in my dream, this teddy bear was the key symbol in the dream.

The girl in front of me is or is symbolic of Becky, but she is dying, symbolic of me finally having reached a point of healing.

My mom is following along behind helping to sweep up the energetic stands of memory and chaos that have been a part of my life.

The dream I had of the strands of light spiraling around other strands of light is symbolic of healing of synaptic nerves that were formed when the main energy available when they were formed was total dispare and self-loathing. This dream is a light at the end of a tunnel.

Dreams are gifts and can be used to help us heal and to inform us of what is happening in the unseen parts of our soul. I hope to have less gloomy subject matter soon, but for me this process of following dreams has opened doors to incredible hope, healing and growth. It can even inform you that doors behind us can be secured to assure our evolutionary growth. Pleasant dreams.

Dream Experience, part 2

This is connected to the dream “Light Ropes and Torsion Field Dream” part 1 https://storysspiritual.com/2022/09/23/light-ropes-and-torsion-field-dreams-part-1/ it is part two of three parts.

This is going to read more like an autobiography than a dream post, but there is a dream within.

The dream itself seems very plain, but how it unfolded in my life was greater than my greatest imaginings. I am reluctant to share it because of the sadness involved, but the synchronicity of events is amazing. I am going to share it in three parts, History, Dream and Experience.

First the history to give the dream context.


My mother, Esther, passed from Alzheimers in October of 2018. Just pryer to her departure she fell and broke her hip. From that point on, what limited recollections she retained of my sister and I were gone. She was returned to her nursing facility, bed fast and she moaned continually inspite of medications.

I started to try to reach out to her through meditation, imagining the higher aspects of myself communicating with her higher aspects. I knew that that part of her was unaffected by the illness.

I realized one day as I sat with her that she was reliving a tragic event from her past. I realized it not through meditation, but from the words she was saying and her arm movements.

All of my imitate family members have shared in the tragedy, but my mother and I shared it in different way.

On August 1, 1955 my mom backed out of her garage with my two older sisters and myself. My oldest sister was four, my other sister was two and I was about two months old inside my mothers womb. I was born in February of 56.

My middle sister Becky fell out the passenger side door, which they thought was latched and my mom backed over her. She died on the way to a hospital. My mother on her death bed was in a memory loop continually reliving that moment. It was comparable to dying and going to hell.

In my despair of watching her suffer I prayed, pleaded and begged God or the Universe to intervene in her behalf.

I approach my spirituality from a some what of a shamanic direction. That being said, one thing I attempted to do was to have a ceremony in which Mom and Becky could be reunited spirit to spirit. I knew somewhere beneath my mom’s dementia, she was entirely well and Becky’s spirit was also well.

I did the ceremony attemting to reunite them. It thought maybe it had worked and hoped it might have an effect. When I visited her again she did seem more peaceful.

We walk by faith they say, we don’t always get physical confirmations of actions. Right after that, I had this dream. I still don’t understand all the dialog in the dream. If it hadn’t happened at this time I not sure how I would have interpreted it.


I am in a large library making small talk with the librarian. There’s a lady sitting on top of the book shelves way up high. She is in front of the sign that tells what’s housed in that section. She removes a white index card from behind the sign and tosses the card onto the floor as if to throw it away. (Maybe like a timecard, maybe a card out ot the card catalog drawer?)

Librarian says “She’s been protesting here for 30 years.” ( I think the woman on the bookshelves represents my mother) (Thirty years for me is symbolic of a long time, kind of like the number forty in the Bible. A number of a completed time period.)

I asked, “Why?” “Because we allow smoke.” answered the librarian. (Smoke represents different things, but the first one I found when I searched said, “Smoke represents the journey of the soul after death, communications with God, purification, introspection, warmth modernity.” I think the journey of the soul including death.)

Next scene.

I am in an performing arts building. People are spread out in rank-and-file about 8 feet apart. They did not move much, but it was a dance. They were all ages, all in street clothes. (humanity in general as we journey through our lives.)

I noticed some real young ones and I commented to whomever I was sitting with, “Aren’t the little ones cute?” I look to my left and there’s a two or three year old boy sitting beside me. He scoots over as close as he can get. I scoot away because I don’t know who he is.

I smile at him and ask, “Are you enjoying the show?” (Maybe my inner child? We haven’t always been on the best of terms)

Instantly there are two boys standing in front of me. One maybe four or five and the other boy is a bit older maybe about age 8. They look very similar and I asked, “Are you brothers?”

The older boy says, “No we’re just adopted by the same mother.”

The younger boy says, “I was raised Christian, so I’d be tough.” (When I followed the dream I thought all three boys were representative of myself at different ages. My older sister used to tease me by saying that I was just adopted when I was little.)

I noticed in the center of the dance floor there was a pagona shaped grass hut. The wind softly blew through tails of the grass from the west and the gently swayed back and forth. (West in a dream is always symbolicof my past)

Next scene.

Cheryl and I are walking across a balcony, winged by two curved stairs. We are leaving the dance area and we’re heading north.

In my hand I have three souvenirs. They look like broken pieces of flooring. One is yellow, (generally I take the color of yellow to be symbolic of emotions) all the rest of the dream was in black and white.

I think to myself, “These aren’t much good, I need to throw them away in the next wastebasket.” (Flooring represents your stability, what you stand upon. In my case emotional stability. )

We descend the curved stairs and I do some kind of little Snoopy Dog looking dance for Cheryl’s amusement. She gives me the, you’re such a dork look, amused. We go out the door….

(I originally thought this might be some type of finishing up something dream. My mother in the process of moving on and us leaving through some doors, I realize now that the doors opened toward the west which is always past for me.)

When I started to meditate on the dream, the music “Please Be Home By Christmas” started playing in my head. Bon Jovy sings it well. I had to look it up and listen to it to recall the lyrics. By the lyrics I thought the dream might have to do with mom.

During my meditation following this dream I saw a road and a yellow light come from my chest and disappear to a point on the horizon line. I felt I needed to really separate my spirit from my body and reaffirm that there is really only one goal in my life and that is to sink into all Source is.

My mother was basically a protestant nun. In 1965 my mom went to an Assembly Of God church. When she answered an alter call and knelt at the alter, she had a vision of Christ. She saw his back, he was holding Becky and she was looking at mom over his shoulder, she smiled back to my mom.

Up until that time she had nightly nightmares of frantically looking for Becky and then finding her killed in some gruesome way. She never had another nightmare of that sort from that moment on. You could not find a more grateful Christian.


This took place shortly after the dream and this is what I posted about the experience…….

Yesterday one of my grandsons had a football game and for no apparent reason we decided to leave early for it. As Cheryl and I drove up Union Street (a street about five blocks from my house) and we saw a year to a year and a half old girl standing on the curb.

There was no one else in sight, the street seemed abandoned.

We stopped and when I walked across the street to see if could help her find her parents she took me by the hand. Her blue eyes looked into mine with a look of love that could melt a heart. I know she would have let me pick her up.

Her diaper was soiled, her blonde hair was unkempt and I could see nits in her hair. Hand and hand we went house-to-house knocking on doors trying to find her home.

Cheryl got out to help and I warned her about the nits. We knocked on three doors, but they didn’t know where she lived. A mail woman came down the street and she wasn’t sure, but thought that she might live at a house she pointed out.

While Cheryl held our lost girls hand, I knocked on the door. The door opened and I was met by two young boys. They were the same size as the boys in my dream and looked very similar. I asked them if they knew our girl.

They said she was their sister Violet. (I have always looked at my mother decent into Alzheimer’s as if she was fading like a beautiful flower bloom and that it was just a sad part of living.)

I asked if their mom was home and they said she was asleep. I told them they probably needed to wake her up.

About then their father came out and I explained how I had found Violet standing on the curb. He motioned Violet into the house, blamed the two boys for being irresponsible, thanked us and closed the door.

I did a little Snoopy Dog Dance as Cheryl and I returned to our car because it is a such a blessing to be able to help somebody……

I physical meet components of my dream, the two brothers standing in front of me and I physically got to help return a lost child to a sleeping mother. I don’t know if it was a confirmation of the ceremony I attempted, but I sure like to believe it was. My mom passed shortly after this experience.

I have a mother and a daughter who often show up in my dreams now, sometimes just the daughter.

This is part 2 of 3 parts.

Part 3. https://storysspiritual.com/2022/09/23/dream-experience-part-3/

Light Ropes and Torsion Field Dreams part 1

Dream connected to dreams.

This is a part one to a series of dreams. This one, dream experience 2 and dream experience 3.

1. First dream

I am in what looks like a hospital again, (I haven’t posted the first hospital dream on this site.) similar to the dream where the doors opened into a parking lot, but I was naked and I hid behind a concert pillar. The door in the first dream opened toward the north. In this dream I am going through the same glass sliding doors and still naked, but they are opening to the south.

As soon as I step out the doors I am floating in the black Void and all around me are strands of golden light ropes. Each strand of light appears to be attached to all the others.

They hang in space giving off a glow like a lighting bug’s butt.

The strands loop towards each other, then swirl like the tendrils of a grape vine. Seven turns and then a long hanging loop of glowing light and then another spiral, on and on.

Wherever there is a spiral, another length of rope passes through the center of it. All the strands are connected, each holding the other, yet none of the spiraling knots are pulled tight.

I reach out towards a spiral to stabilize myself and as I grasp it with my hand, I wake up….

This dream didn’t give up much when I followed it, but the image is soon to be part of a children’s story. https://storysspiritual.com/2022/08/28/whos-trying-to-get-in/

The next dream took place in my backyard, that is where two shadow dogs meet me in another dream….. https://storysspiritual.com/?p=1114

I am with four or more people, I think by how we were arranged there could of been eight people counting myself, but I only can see four.

This may be hard to describe: There is what looks a huge doughnut shaped something. It is as large as a small circular lifeboat. It is made out of woven rope and I can see through the spaces in the weave. The ropes are similar to the light strands in the other dream.

Each of us are trying to spin it over our head and then we are to toss it to the person next to us.

The lady to my right starts to twirl it, but it changes shape and she can’t do it.

She tosses it to the woman to her right, she catches it and gives it a spin and it turns back into the beautiful doughnut thing.

She tosses it across the circle to me, I catch it and give it a spin it holds it’s shape for a little bit, but starts to deterate and I toss it to another woman…..

This is when I wake up. Upon following the dream, I realize it is the energy shape of an torsion field that we were spinning.

The light strands in the other dream were also energy. The idea of spinning energy over my head came from a different dream I had recently followed, but I didn’t expect to see it symbolized in a dream.

I think that the light strands represents synaptic nerves and the spirals are receptor sites. The torsion ring represents the opportunity to move on from where I have been to a new healthier place. Both dreams are symbolic of a personal healing I have been seeking.

The next dream of the three dream series is Dream experience 1 https://storysspiritual.com/2022/09/23/dream-experience-part-2/

Self-inflicted Exile

Morning Meds; 9 23 22

Stepping out of our comfort zone creates discomfort, but most of us adjust and what was uncomfortable becomes common place.

This ability to adjust our perspectives and emotional responses can work to our advantage as we forge forward creating our dreams or to our detriment if we slowly sulk back into an old uncomfortable comfort zone.

To remain in discomfort to avoid the discomfort of change can become a self-infected exile from your dreams.

It may be time to imbrace the energy that comes with change and forge forward.

You might as well be uncomfortable in the future you prefer to have.


Morning Meds 9 20 22

Worry is a form of creative visualization we often engage in.

With awareness we can imagine the universe conspiring to help us and transmute the energy of worry into creative intentions and attract useful changes.

Worry is the power of attraction gone awry.

Cleansing Page

Morning Meds 9 14 22

When the collective debris of normal living builds up, a bad feeling here, disappointment there, anger, hate, fear, the old residue of day to day existence. Writing a cleansing page is often helpful.

We are taught that certain human emotional responses are bad, wrong, sinful and that we shouldn’t harbor them. Normal may be a more accurate assessment.

For those of us who believe that thoughts attract results it is easy to start stuffing stuff in our internal closet so the vibrations don’t get amplified. This is a simple compassionate way to clear the closet.

Grab a notebook and a pencil and start dumping. Don’t worry about legibility, the idea is to discard not preserve.

Write as fast as you can and when you get to the bottom, spin the notebook ninety degrees and write over the top of what you just wrote. When you get to the bottom spin the notebook another ninety and go again. Just keep spinning.

When you are done and you will know you are, the whole page will be covered and no one can read the evil contents of your soul.

Include aunt Sally’s uppityness, the political insanity, George’s brat that pooped in the pool, the realization that you significant other may have flaws, parental short comings, both yours and your parents and very importantly unload all the self-criticism, it necessary to make room for love.

Keep writing till you can write no more. It is great way to release anger and not regret something better left unsaid and it also eliminates hurt feeling if someone finds your emotions dumpster.

Take the page, I fold up a piece of sage in it and burn it in a safe private place. I use an old metal coffee can.

As the smoke rises offer it to whomever you believe cares and ask them to take it, for you don’t want to store it anymore.

Having cleaned the closet without creating more debris you can get back to attracting great things for yourself. Have a great burn.

Persuasions From Within

Morning Meds 9 12 22

Translucent shades of realities

Muted glimpses of worlds beyond

Ancient stained windows

Memories lite from within

Blurred figures

Blurred circumstance

Blurred recollections of lives lived.

Peering in hopes of a glimpse

Listening for a whisper

Testing to air for a lingering scent

Following persuasions of the soul

Calling us to return to what has been