Teddy Bear Dream
This dream is part 3 of a healing process. Dreams are gifts that can give us assurances as to where we are at in our recovery;
I am in a store and it is dark. I look to the west (past) out through my front door glass and I see a lady walking north on a sidewalk across the street. She is wearing a blue poka dot dress. (That was the choice of attire that my grandmother was buried in, it was her favorite dress)
She is returning home from work and as she passes the houses she checks to see if their doors are properly locked.
I wonder, “Why don’t she check to see if my door is locked and I feel disappointed that she hasn’t.
Driving north (spiritual) in a car on my way to help somebody and there is a bear driving a car beside me.
Someway or another, suddenly we are both out of our cars. I don’t know if I grabed him or if he grabbed me, but we are wrestling. (I realized when I followed the dream that the bear had yellow circles for hands like a Teddy Bear.)
The scuffle forces me to change direction. Driving back south the way I came, the bear is hanging onto my car. I slam on my brakes and the bear flies past me and face plants on the pavement. I turn towards the east (future) going between two houses.
There is barely enough room for the car so it is more like driving through yards. I crash into something and instantly a little girl is sitting in front of me where the windshield should be.
She lifts up her shirt exposing her stomach and it is covered with measles or chicken pox. I know that she is sick and possibility dying.
I look behind me in hopes of backing the car up and there is a lady with a broom and a dustpan just a little ways behind me. She is sweeping up the debris I created driving between the houses. She smiles at me as if she doesn’t mind doing the task……..
Following the dream;
I thought the lady checking locks was my mom, the dress being symbolic of a family member, but it could be my grandmother. She has finished her work and has walked home.
Being in a store represents earthly work, a house is my personal space. I am wanting to do spiritual work.
A family member is securing all the doors I have passed through to get to this present moment. She is locking them so I am less liberal to revisit them or so the past can’t seep back into my present. It is what family is willing to do for each other, part of a family pact.
The Teddy Bear…
I am driving north to help somebody, this too is symbolic of my present intent.
The bear is traveling by me, but not in the car with me, that is good, but we are struggling just the same.
My journey to help others is interrupted by this conflict. I am forced to return the way I came, but there isn’t a normal path to follow so I am forced to push my way between the houses and create my own. I am completely stopped by an obstacle.
The little girl has shown up in many of my dreams, sometimes with her mother. Most the time they are just bystanders.
This is the healing part and why I was wresting a life size teddy bear.
I said in part two that my mom’s and my sister’s accident impacted my life in a different way. I was, in one since not there at all because I was in her womb, but because I was, I marinated in all the emotional juices that is produced by a grieving mother, not only grieving, but someome filled with blame and self-contempt. Not a lot of happy juice were being produced.
I am reluctant to share most of this, but I feel it is a finish line of sorts and if I don’t I remain stuck in my crashed car. I think it reeks of victimism and selp-pity which is not a healthy or useful pastime.
I believe my main creative purpose in this life is to help people find self-worth and to learn ways to overcome the energy of depression.
Without this pre birth tragedy I wouldn’t have been forced to search for solutions .
The experiences of this journey that I have been gifted with were only made possible by this family event. So this tragedy, like all tragedy is a transition point where life changing choices are made.
My struggles with depression have become a gift. It was a road to spiritual transformation and realization. I owe much gratitude to my family members to let me be a part of this growth experience.
I can now look within myself and see the wonders of the essence of the Creator Of All, it is beyond belief.
I know that I am of value irregardless of actions, I and everyone else is priceless. (That includes everyone, even thise who seem difficult to like.)
I had the opportunity to sit in the heart of God, to feel the indescribable force of unconditional love. That one experience makes all human experiences worth the trip.
I see this whole event is part of a agreement between family members forged pryer to our latest arrival.
On this side of the Beyond the Beyond, we often live lives as victims or victimizers. It is just a part of the education of experienceing duality, it is the method by which we learn about energy.
Beyond the Beyond, duality no longer exists in this earthly form. There is no blame, no pain, no assumptions. All the unendurable pain we experience here is seen in a different light and we understand why and what we were meant to learn in an human experience.
What we see as victim experiences here are seen as learning choices there, so blame or fault never applies.
Everyone involved in this tragedy was a victim. Everyone involved learned what or some of what the they choose to learn as they acted out their part.
I clearly remember my parents arguing for blame. My dad said it was his fault because he knew the door hadn’t latched when he carried in my oldest sister into the house the night before. He had given the door a kick with his foot, but he knew it hadn’t latched.
Mom said she was to blame, she had always put the girls in the car from the passenger side, but she was in a hurry and had put them in from the driver’s side. Becky was always in the middle. She should have checked the door.
I don’t know how or why I can remember the conversation, it may have happened when I was older, it may have been a dream?
My grandmother, the lady in the blue polka-dot dress from the dream, had put up sort of a memorial for Becky at her house on a shelf above a desk. A picture and a red wooden chair holding a small teddy bear, most likely the one I struggled with in my dream, this teddy bear was the key symbol in the dream.
The girl in front of me is or is symbolic of Becky, but she is dying, symbolic of me finally having reached a point of healing.
My mom is following along behind helping to sweep up the energetic stands of memory and chaos that have been a part of my life.
The dream I had of the strands of light spiraling around other strands of light is symbolic of healing of synaptic nerves that were formed when the main energy available when they were formed was total dispare and self-loathing. This dream is a light at the end of a tunnel.
Dreams are gifts and can be used to help us heal and to inform us of what is happening in the unseen parts of our soul. I hope to have less gloomy subject matter soon, but for me this process of following dreams has opened doors to incredible hope, healing and growth. It can even inform you that doors behind us can be secured to assure our evolutionary growth. Pleasant dreams.